By Yamila García

Learning to mask helps us survive. Masking helps us hide who we truly are from the world, showing them what they want to see. Since we were kids, many of us did it naturally, often without even knowing why we did it. Over time, we learn that, no matter how different we are from everyone else, we can always put on a mask to hide who we are and how we feel. However, after many years of relying on these “masks,” we might start thinking that simply pretending can handle everything that comes our way.

We might think we’re doing fine, that people don’t notice our differences, that we’re good at masking. But we can’t avoid everything that’s happening inside us. Masking just makes us keep going and seem like everything’s okay, but deep down, there’s a fire burning. Gradually, masking gets tougher and less convincing. We keep holding on, resisting, and doing our best, but it stops working, and we’re left with no energy. Pretending has taken everything from us. We end up utterly exhausted, unable to function as we normally do.

Masking “protects” us from the outside but burns us alive inside. It leaves us alone, without the strength to do anything more than hide in some corner, some hole in our house with little light, no noise and that is small enough to feel that at least we have some control. I know many neurodivergents are trying hard not to mask now, and I totally admire them. But I never learned how to live without it. I wouldn’t even know where to start. But I think I need to unlearn this harmful habit that denies my true self and doesn’t let me take care of my needs. It leads me to drain myself, isolate myself, and forget to care for myself.

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