By Yamila García
The first time I visited Storrs was before starting the Fall semester in 2021. I arrived on Storrs Road, turned onto Horsebarn Hill Road, and parked in my assigned area. There is another sector that I am also allowed to use but I haven’t used it yet. Since day one, I have always taken the same route. I sit in the same places in my classes, eat the same food from the same place, drink the same coffee, read and study in the same building and at the same table. I do it that way not because I love it, but because it gives me a structure and that makes me feel safe. I don’t know what I need to be safe from, I just need that structure so when I have to deal with unexpected situations it doesn’t feel that bad. I guess if I have the rest under control, I can deal better with the “unexpected thing” that is happening. I don’t like to improvise, I always need to have a plan, a map, a way of doing things. If I don’t have that structure everything feels chaotic. Yet, I will be creating a map of that chaos…
It seems that this need for structure leads me to look for it anywhere. Predictably, I have always looked for patterns in everything. If I read something for the first time, before trying to understand what it says, I try to understand the structure of the text. If I am learning a new math topic, first I see exercises that have already been done and that is enough for me to understand the logic of the new topics. If I listen to music, I always separate in my mind the different sections that the song has. I try to find repetitions, connections, and logic in everything that comes my way. Finding patterns guides me through new things and helps me adapt more easily. It has also helped me understand how people communicate. In my native language, I didn’t communicate very well or understand slang when I was a teenager, but that ability to recognize patterns helped me learn how people communicate and be able to imitate them. This definitely helped me and I can say that the process was a success. Today no one would believe that I ever had a hard time communicating.
Doing things repetitively, obsessing over patterns, and looking for structure in everything are simply a way of adapting to the environment around us. That is my way, it is what works for me, it is similar to that of some people and very different from that of others. There are people who don’t stop talking because silence is uncomfortable for them, people looking to make friends with everyone because loneliness makes them uncomfortable, people filling their days with activities because they don’t want to feel useless or because being at home is not a good plan for them. But everyone has a way of coping with what is uncomfortable or difficult for them, even if they haven’t been paying attention and think they don’t do those things. We all deal with something and we have different ways of dealing with it. Just because our ways don’t look alike doesn’t mean we can’t understand each other.