Author: Syharat, Connie

When the battery is running low

By Yamila García

The fact that I didn’t know I was neurodivergent for so long made me an expert in “enduring” whatever I had to live through. It’s hard for me to stop and understand that I deserve free time and fun. I grew up believing that if others could do certain things, I had to be able to too. It didn’t matter how much it cost me, or how many crises I had, I always ended up doing what I had to do because “I had to.” I did not understand why some activities were so difficult for me, but I refused to accept it and thought that they were just silly things in my head and that I was just overthinking. I forced myself for a long time but now I’m learning to listen to myself.

We are officially 4 weeks from the end of the semester and I can already feel my battery is low. All the effort made at the beginning of the semester to adapt, the struggles with classes, assignments, and due dates, and the anxiety of exams, seem to have consumed a good percentage of our energy, and only a little remains. It is not that it happens on a pre-established date. Instead, I realize it because, for everything I do, I need more time and more effort, and I feel that I already carry a good dose of stress. At other times of my life I would have sworn that it only happened to me, but today I know that there are many of us who are going through this. We need to be patient with ourselves, we need to respect our body, our mind, and the time it takes us to do whatever we have to do. We have already done a good part of the semester’s work, we should be proud of it, and although what is coming is important, we will not be able to do it if we do not arrive in a good physical and mental state at the end of the semester. Go for a 10-minute walk, listen to your favorite song several times in a row as many of us like to do, play with your pets for a while… Stopping studying or working for 10 or 15 minutes does not have a great impact on these activities, but it can have it on our mental health, renewing our energy and serving as the push we need to get to December on our feet!

Listening to ourselves is not being weak, but being intelligent. Our body and our mind are what allow us to do what we want to do. How are we supposed to do it without taking care of ourselves? The lower our battery is, the more things we have ahead of us, and the more difficult what is to come… the more we need to give ourselves time and care.


Knowing Ourselves Better

By Yamila García

Despite having noticed at a young age that people perceived the world in a different way than I do, there were many things that I did not know. Every day of my life, when I leave my house in the morning, I feel like a sword pierces my head. It is a deep pain that makes me dizzy and doesn’t let me see for a few seconds. I always thought that this was how everyone feels when they leave their house and see the sunshine. Of course, I was wrong. Also, I thought that people drew in their minds everything they heard or read, but that was not the case either. However, I always did it with such a level of detail that I can remember the smells, sensations, and flavors of what I imagined. In fact, many times I have come across people I wanted to talk to because “I knew them” but in reality, I had imagined them when I read a book, or when someone told me a story. My imagination draws everything in great detail and I think that is why I always need to know more, to get well-structured information and clear instructions. I need to know what I am drawing. If I can’t draw it, it feels like I can’t see or hear. My mental drawings are like maps for me. I also thought that people react to texture like me, that even have dreamed of textures… I couldn’t see anything in my dreams, just felt the sensations from the textures. There are some that calm me, others that give me chills and goosebumps.

Many neurodivergent people have great sensory differences from neurotypical people. Little things that seem unimportant can affect us enormously. For better or for worse… That is why it is important to recognize these differences, accept them and work on them. Knowing ourselves better can often mean being able to use that sensory sensitivity to counteract difficulties. I know what textures calm me down, I know what music lowers my heart rate, and I know what smells take me back to happy moments… And that’s how I deal with the anxiety that so many other things cause me. Simply, I go through life facing the difficulties that come my way, taking advantage of what for some people is a failure. At first glance it may seem like it, but on many occasions, I have been able to use these features to my advantage. 

We have been told many times that we do not fit in, that we are “failed,” that we must adapt and that we must hide all those “flaws.” Don’t listen to them! Those are not “flaws,” they are simply a part of you that should be valued and understood. Never did any of these characteristics not give me something good. They just need a little acceptance and work to see how we can make them flourish as gifts.


Our Differences Are Our Greatest Treasure

By Yamila García

I know that at this time many people in the school feel that something is wrong with them. As I walk around campus, I always think about how many people are wondering why they have to be so different and can’t just fit in like everyone else. They would try to “camouflage,” learn to be like everyone, and hide every particularity that makes them rare or unacceptable to society. I know it because I lived many years of my life this way. Blaming myself for being different, and thinking that something was wrong with me. Although I learned to value these differences, I also learned with whom and when to share them, just to be able to fit in. 

In all these years that I spent not knowing the reason for my differences, I also lost the opportunity to work on them to enhance them. I feel that the passage of time and the struggle to fit in, made me lose some of these characteristics. Some were positive changes, but others were a great loss. I remember having a great ability to play with numbers and symbols in my head. I remembered very long series, and I made long equations without writing them, just drawing them in my mind. I was able to see connections in many more things than now and I could hyperfocus deeper and for much longer than now. I think I just thought that those things that I was obsessed with, kept me from having a normal social life. Perhaps I got a little angry and saw them as an obstacle. The truth is that I didn’t have the tools to see the potential in my differences and I regret that.

When I officially found out I was neurodivergent, I took a breath, forgave myself, and apologized too. I felt sorry for having blamed myself and for having thought at some point that my differences were problems instead of opportunities. From that moment on, everything made sense and things only got better. I have been trying to recover what I lost along the way trying to camouflage myself and I celebrate my differences. Knowing who you are is the best starting point and allows you to work from your own reality, enhance your strengths and understand your difficulties from a more tolerant perspective with yourself. I wish that all those who have ever felt like me, can have a prompt diagnosis and begin to celebrate their differences because they are our greatest treasure.


One card at a time

By Yamila García

When you are attentive, everything around you can teach you something. I was sitting next to a friend at an event when I saw her take a stack of cards that had been printed with the wrong date. She took a pen and started correcting them one by one. The stack of cards was so big that I thought she would just correct a few for the event attendees. I began to think how nervous it would make me to have to correct them all in the time that the event lasted. Also, I remembered the many times when my pile of pending tasks is large, and I drown in thoughts of fear of not being able to complete them. Then, I spend hours worrying, instead of trying. I watched as she kept correcting cards slowly and carefully, and I thought that she would never be able to correct all of them in such a short time. But she kept going slowly and steadily. I greatly admired her perseverance, and her ability not to get caught up in a hurry. I thought about whether she was aiming to finish them all or if she just kept on consistently without even thinking about having to finish them. How wonderful it would be to be able to have that perseverance and that calm when facing my tasks!

Time passed, and before the event was even over, she had finished correcting all of them. When I saw her from the beginning with that giant stack of cards, I didn’t think she would make it at such a slow pace. However, with her patience and tenacity, she did. She not only did that, but she also inspired me! I went home with great motivation to try to replicate what I had learned from her. I imagined myself sitting in front of my computer, starting with a small task, as if it were a card that I was going to correct, then another task, and thus completing my stack of cards without even noticing it. In order for you to understand how important what I witnessed was to me, you would need to know what the process of completing the same task would be like for me. First, I would choke thinking about the number of cards, then I would probably think about the time I would have, I would divide the number of cards by the time available to know how much I would be able to spend fixing each card, and then finally I would take some time to doubt which would be the best way to do the task, or which would be the best pen to use. Meanwhile, my anxiety would increase more and more, and I would start correcting the cards at an exaggeratedly fast pace. I would feel overwhelmed. I would stop, and I would continue to doubt whether or not I would be able to complete the task… I think at this point you get what I’m trying to say. So, even if we don’t complete the stack of cards, it’s better to have completed some instead of none. Same for homework, chores, work, and everything we have to face in life. Let’s keep moving, slowly but steadily, let’s just sit down and do it, and then let’s see how far we get. Thank you dear friend for this teaching.


Black and White Thinking

By Yamila García

I have the tendency to think in extremes. “Black and white thinking,” as they call it. That is why when I don’t like something, I typically don’t like anything related to it and it blocks me completely. I totally lose interest and find it impossible to focus on it. It has happened to me several times, with people, activities, classes, etc… The last time it happened was during a recent semester and it was really challenging to pass the class. It was a class that I liked. It was a subject that I would typically enjoy. But I didn’t get to adapt to my professor and from there everything went uphill (it was a really hard climb). Not being able to adapt to my professor sometimes means that I am not able to follow my professor, adapt to their class format, or focus on the class for different reasons. It is never a quick transition, from one moment to the next, but more progressive, until I cross the door of the blockade, and there is no turning back.

When this semester started, I felt that I was on my way to that door in one of my classes. I couldn’t understand my professor and my first few weeks of learning were blank (just like my first quiz). I panicked of course but always proactively. I contacted my professor. I explained that I was not understanding and we talked about what I needed to understand. In the next class, I was very surprised to see that my professor had humbly taken my comments to make his class more understandable to me. I’m a fan of my professor now. Yes, “black and white” thinking again. It felt so good to be heard! Look how easy it is to close that door and make the semester something less overwhelming for people like me. I know I was not the only one in that class with the same difficulties.

I just want to say thank you to all the professors who listen to their students and allow themselves to grow from criticism because those are the ones that become unforgettable for us students. Not only do they teach us academic concepts but they also teach us by example, showing that we can always learn from everyone. Thank you for listening and not letting us through that door. You can’t even imagine the relief your flexibility gives us.


The Worst is Over!

By Yamila García

A new semester has started and at each beginning, I always tell myself: “You are going to feel overwhelmed. You are going to think that it is impossible and that you cannot adapt to so many changes together. But this has happened many times before and it was never true.” The beginnings are not easy, because, in reality, they are changes. But we need them to move forward and achieve our goals and dreams.

As a neurodivergent person, I perceive routine changes as catastrophes that turn my world upside down. It’s been three weeks since the semester started and I finally feel like I’m coming out of the adjustment so I can start learning. My starting point is this. Three weeks later than many of my classmates is when I can finally sit in a class, listen and really understand what my professors explain. Previously, it was just noise, other distractions, and discomfort. I even turned in the first quiz of a class blank. None of the previous weeks were to learn the most important concepts of the class, as everyone else does. For me, those weeks were just to get used to the new buildings, the new chairs, the new voices of the teachers, and the recurring noises and the lights of the classroom. I know that my adaptation process requires these adjustments and that it takes me a few weeks, and I know that many of us, neurodivergent or not, go through the first weeks of school as if we were embarking on a journey without a map or GPS.

At the beginning of every semester, I think about how simple it would be to help us shorten this adaptation time. What would particularly help me would be to have in advance the complete syllabus of all the classes with the schedule of exams and assignments, knowing what apps or websites we are going to use, videos of the professors introducing themselves, early access to Husky CT, and any extra tools that we’ll use during the semester. It’s not that I don’t want to make an effort to adapt. The issue is that adapting takes so much energy that it doesn’t allow me to learn while I adapt. We have accommodations during the semester. Why don’t we have them before we start? Why assume that we all have the same starting point? There are many more “new” things each semester that present a challenge for those of us who struggle with changes and new routines. However, once we manage to adapt we can run like everyone else. We are all going to get through this semester and whatever comes after. We just have to be patient with ourselves, accept the time it takes to adapt and understand that our time to speed up comes a little later. Happy Fall semester everyone! The worst is over!


I Know What Works for Me

By Yamila García

I really wish we could have options at school. The class I thought was going to be the easiest one, became the hardest one. Not because of its content, but because of the rigid structure that did not allow me to find a way to learn it properly.

There are times when professors catch my attention easily and are very organized. Those always became the easier classes, even if the content is the hardest. For example, in one class, I started attending lectures with the professor, but since they explained a little too fast for me, I got lost many times and had to watch the lectures again after class. Recording classes is definitely one way professors can help us. But that is not all. They also can post videos of another professor explaining the same topics. I think that shows an acknowledgement that we all learn in different ways. And in one class, it turned out, I understood that teacher much better. So, I stopped attending lectures and my performance got better since I was using my time more efficiently and could study more. The professor never took attendance, never tried to convince us to learn in any specific way. They understood that we are all adults and have our own ways.

On the other hand, some of my previous professors have not been flexible at all. Other professors often don’t record classes, don’t have alternative material, take attendance (that isn’t even graded for participation), and make us fill out  a form explaining the reasons for absence. I have even received an email after missing 2 classes in a row. In one class, the moment I noticed that the professor’s classes weren’t working for me, I didn’t want to tell them. I didn’t mean to be hurtful or rude. So, I did what I was supposed to do. I attended classes anyway and that wasn’t the best decision. If I had to do it again, I would tell my professor that the classes were not working for me and that I would prefer to use the little time I have learning the content in some other way. Maybe going to the tutorial center, with videos I could find online, just from the book, etc. It is just that some professors are not open to “other ways.” I wouldn’t say the professor’s teaching methods weren’t right, they are just not what works for me.

When things like that happen, I get stuck.  It is as if I cannot see good there. I don’t feel comfortable, so, I don’t like the class (even though it is something I would like in another situation), I don’t like the building, and I don’t like anything related to it. I feel so limited, I feel that I can’t do anything that could help me feel better about it. If I had possibilities, things would feel different, of course. In one class, with all the stress it caused me — with all the discomfort, pressure, and frustration I ended up with got a huge amount of stress that is affecting my health now.

I wish we could have options. I know there will always be difficulties, and nothing will ever be perfect, but there are practices that make things simpler. Programs and classes that present their complete schedule from the beginning of the semester, have a consistent methodology, offer different materials, recorded classes, etc. I don’t know if they do it consciously or if being organized is their standard operating procedure, but even if they don’t know it, they help us a lot that way.


Trying to adapt

By Yamila García

If I had to compare this semester with the previous one (my first semester at UConn), I would say that it feels as if I lived each semester being a different person. My first semester, like most of my “first experiences” on anything, was not great. I was just glad I passed my classes because I couldn’t expect more than that while trying to adapt to every new thing in this new place for me. Everything was new and so uncomfortable and frustrating. I even feel proud of myself for passing the classes in such discomfort! This semester, the second one here, was quite different. I had less uncertainty and of course, that helped a lot. My grades are better, I know where to go, where to find a quiet place to stop my mind, what food to eat, where to charge my electronic devices, different ways to get to different places, etc. I know that needing a whole semester to adapt seems like a long time, but that is what I needed and that is ok because it doesn’t matter how much time I need, but to get there and feel that things are not strange anymore.

Every time I have to break my routine and start building a new one, it is as if my true self hides and won’t appear until I have a new routine and the discomfort is gone. It happens with new people, new places, even new food! It seems like two different personalities, but it is just me exploring, getting used to things, finding that structure to support me, and when that happens my true self leaves the cave and can go out feeling safer. As I mentioned in previous posts, I am not sure what I am safer from, but I don’t need to know it. I just need to continue adapting to my environment and every change that happens. The semester is almost over and new things are coming again. One would think that after so much time I should get used to facing changes and new things, but it never happened. What does happen is that each stage passed, despite not taking away the discomfort of the next challenge, does give me the certainty that I am going to overcome it too.


Dare to Dream

By Yamila García

Like many other people with ASD when I was a kid a was obsessed with science. Nothing captured my attention more than galaxies, astronauts, and space rockets. Another reason for people to see me as a “weird” girl, a girl who lives wrapped in fantasies and does not understand reality. Despite always being aware that I needed to adapt to society, I was never willing to give up my uniqueness. If I was going to fit in, I was going to do it on my own terms. 

I went to my middle-school library every day until I finished reading all the books they had on astronomy and astronautics. I kept painting galaxies and using space-themed binders all my school years through high school. As a teenager, when all my classmates had binders or backpacks with the images of their favorite singers, I had someone very special in mine that had nothing to do with singing. His name is Franklin Chang-Díaz. He was an astronaut and my idol for as long as I can remember. I had his pictures on my room’s wall, on my binders, articles of his work everywhere, and he was also the wallpaper on my computer for many years. I felt so proud and inspired by him being the first Hispanic astronaut. I read and learned a lot about his work which I found amazing, I followed his project of plasma propulsion for use in human flights to Mars. I knew he was born in Costa Rica, he made 7 spaceflights and he got his doctorate in applied plasma physics from MIT, but among so many things I knew, I missed a detail.

When I received my acceptance e-mail from UConn, I was at the Commencement ceremony of Three Rivers Community College, graduating with my associate’s degree in Computer Science. Of course, I could not be happier! Immediately after the ceremony, I got back home and opened all the links that were sent to me to learn more about my new university. Exploring the website, I found the “notable alumni” section. I think at this point you can guess what detail I missed and who I found there… Franklin Chang-Díaz received his bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering at UConn and when I found out that I couldn’t stop crying. I was about to start studying at the same school as my lifelong idol. I cried for that dreamy and fanciful girl who should never have adapted too much to anything. I cried with gratitude because as much as one tries to fight against its essence, life (and hard work) always ends up putting things in their place. 

In the ITE building, there is a showcase with photos of outstanding alumni from the engineering school. When I feel a little down or overwhelmed, I go there, look at his picture and remind myself to let the fanciful girl in me continue to dream and be as weird as she wants to be. There was nothing wrong with me, the problem was those who did not dare to dream and did not want me to be myself. My “obsession” was just pointing me in the right direction.

https://www.foundation.uconn.edu/notable-alumni/

 


The Future is Accessible

By Jess

I was diagnosed with autism at age 37, a year and a half after beginning my fourth attempt at a college education. It took me a while to unpack where autism fit into my education background. Like a lot of newly diagnosed autistic people, I not only had occasional doubts about the accuracy of the diagnosis, I had trouble admitting that I did, in fact, have a disability. 

“Some autistic people need accomodations, but if I used them I’d just be taking advantage of the system.” 

After two years of having unused accommodations in place “just in case,” reality hit. I was struggling through fluid dynamics and in total denial of my situation. We had passed the time of virtual and recorded lectures, and I would sit in a packed classroom feeling the physical presence of 100 other people, hearing the shuffle of papers, the squeaking of chairs, every small cough, every clicking of a pen or tap on a keyboard. The clack of a door opening unexpectedly scratched the inside of my skull. The murmur of a hushed conversation had the texture of radio static and felt like rough carpet scraping up against my skin. Even the lights were loud. My professor’s lectures would float around me in strings of words and tones that refused to shape themselves into cohesive ideas. 

The moment of clarity finally came during the first exam, when I stubbornly insisted that I could take it with the rest of the class instead of a dedicated quiet space. I was sitting in the back as far away from everyone as I could, but still close enough to hear the shuffling of papers of the young man sitting near me. It felt like sitting next to a squirrel trapped in a cardboard box. 

If you know any neurodivergents, you’re probably familiar with the concept of sensory overload. Human brains are designed to continuously and automatically sort information based on its utility, urgency, and novelty. You didn’t notice the color of the shoes of the woman that just walked past you. You don’t remember the name of the person you met 5 minutes ago. You might have looked at the painting in the hallway you just walked by in the doctor’s office, but can you recall the subject? This selective filtering of nonessential information is important to our daily existence. The yellow umbrella on your container of salt should not be taking up as much of your mental bandwidth as the fact that your sink is running and nearly full. 

Neurodivergent brains do not often filter this information well. Everything is given equal attention. Everything makes it through. Your brain isn’t quite sure if the clacking of a pair of heels in the hallway is more or less important than the conversation you’re currently having with someone you desperately need to speak to, so it’s just going to focus on both.

For someone experiencing sensory overload, the world is everything all at once. 

We deal with this issue in different ways. Some of us wear headphones, some of us are comforted by pulling a hoodie over our heads. An entire mini-industry has popped up around offering us sound dampening ear plugs. Some of us remain centered with stimming, which can mean bouncing a leg, rocking back and forth, flapping or shaking hands, or what sounds like a verbal tic. 

The experience of school can be overwhelming, and before we even set foot in the classroom we’re already at a disadvantage. But, it’s 2022 and I’m hoping we’re past the time of needing to list off a cast of diagnosed and suspected neurodivergents to support the claim that we are no less able to learn and do the work as our neurotypical counterparts. 

A lot of neurotypicals bristle at the idea of these special treatments for disabled students. After all, you’ve had times when you couldn’t focus or couldn’t make it to class. Maybe you have trouble taking traditional tests even though you know the material. Or maybe you just have trouble understanding lectures. Why don’t you get these special accommodations?  Well… You should. 

Medical diagnoses for learning disabilities in the United States is tricky. The accommodations offered by most institutions and programs exist only for diagnosed medical conditions. And as long as we don’t all have equal access to medical care, those accommodations will be for the privileged. Even with medical insurance, the medical community has been slow to catch up to the research and many autistic people, particularly women, are being shut out of the diagnostic process. (Various reasons I’ve heard for discounting a woman’s suspicion that she may be autistic: She’s making eye contact, she’s living independently, she drove herself to the appointment, she’s an adult and only kids have it, or my favorite, she’s an adult and it only matters when you’re a child.) 

The process of accommodations has by necessity created a system of disability gatekeeping, with universities having to rely on medical evaluations and then making judgment calls on what accommodations are appropriate for those who are able to get them.  

Accommodations have been invaluable to improving access to education, but the future of accessibility will be in not needing to request it at all. 

In the past, strict adherence to schedule and in person attendance was a necessity of educating thousands of students at once in an efficient manner. The strict adherence to the schedules required by educational institutions became a measure of moral character and a socioeconomic litmus test. The limitations of 20th century education favored the young, unmarried, childless, able bodied and, obviously, the well-off. Today we’re no longer bound to in-person classrooms and the technology to record, caption, and broadcast lectures is so widely available that most of us carry the necessary hardware in our pockets. 

Most neurodivergents are largely in agreement in what could improve our educational experience. Flexible attendance policies. In person lecture options with captioned recordings. Clear and concise instructions. Quiet, private study spaces on campus. Professors that are familiar with the challenges of neurodivergent students. 

You may notice that these aren’t things that are unique to the needs of autistic students. And that’s kind of the point.