By Yamila García

Growing up without having a name for my differences was definitely a challenge. However, at many times along that path, I often identified with other people. For example, I have seen someone separating their food on a plate so it does not touch, just as I have always done. That made me feel that it wasn’t just me. Knowing that there were more people like me was helpful, even if I didn’t fully understand what that meant. Other times, I have met very introverted children like me, who contained their curiosity and desire to explore. I could see it and understand it because they looked like me: quiet, distant, but with an active gaze, visualizing themselves doing what they wanted so much but didn’t dare.

When I was little, I hardly ever expressed what I felt. However, when I saw children overwhelmed by stimuli, my heart would break because I knew what they were feeling. Many times, I saw children labeled as strange or complicated, and I identified with them. This brought relief in knowing that I was not alone. I think this somehow helped me understand that a portion of society was simply different from the rest, and that it was important not to fight my differences, but to accept them. Accepting what causes you pain, what segregates you, and brings you problems is not easy at all. However, by seeing others go through the same thing, I realized that things could be done to avoid it and that our differences are not the main reason for the consequences we face, but rather the lack of knowledge and understanding from others.

I appreciate the chance to write about my experiences because I see it as an opportunity for others to relate to me. I know it’s something small, but it helps me more than I could imagine. For a long time, I thought that several things happening to me were just my imagination. Seeing them in someone else helped me trust what I felt and not think that I was making something up just because I couldn’t explain it. I am grateful for all those people I have met since my childhood, who showed me that I was part of something not often talked about, much less understood.

 

By Yamila García

Last night, around 8 pm, I felt a significant discomfort in my body. I instantly knew that I had once again forgotten to drink water during the day. When I feel like this, I desperately drink water as if I have just spent 30 days in the desert. Sometimes, the desperation is so intense that I choke, and then I feel like a bubble full of water from drinking so much in such a short time. You would think that if this was such a common experience, at some point, I would remember to do it, but I don’t. I really don’t realize until my body experiences great pain or discomfort that somehow manages to “wake me up.” I have realized that I have little sensitivity to pain, and only when it is very extreme do I realize it. That’s why I don’t realize that I’m thirsty, that I’m hot, or that I’m feeling a certain way until the sensations are very deep and unmanageable. As you can imagine, this is a great barrier to being able to manage and face what I feel at more opportune moments. It would be much easier to work on what I’m feeling at the moment; however, it’s like I don’t know what’s happening to me until everything is overwhelming and chaotic.

This not only happens with physical sensations but also with emotional ones. Many times I find it difficult to identify how I feel in different situations. I think my confusion is mostly because either I don’t feel anything or I feel a terrible panicky feeling when I can’t take it anymore. Those are my most usual states, which I have been trying to “correct” simply because it is very extreme and exhausting to live like this. So, I have gotten into the habit of asking myself several times a day: How am I? What am I feeling? (I have notes on my iPad and my cell phone that remind me to ask myself this). With that, I force myself to connect with my body and my mind. I still have a hard time identifying what I feel, but at least I try to stop and listen to myself. This has allowed me to make some changes, and gives me the possibility of identifying anxiety before it takes total control over me.

Knowing how you feel may seem obvious to many people, but for many neurodivergents, it can be a challenge. Not everything has a “solution,” but we can use some techniques to help us remember that we must do periodic scans of the physical and emotional sensations that we are perceiving.

 

In the year 2012, when many believed the then-interpretation of the Mayan calendars’ abrupt end date to be a prediction of the end of times, I was finally diagnosed, officially, with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. My family learned that teachers are legally not allowed to tell parents to request an educational evaluation. It took my family until third grade when they noticed that I seldom had birthday party or playdate invitations to realize that something was amiss and they demanded an educational evaluation that resulted with ADHD..

I was eight years old at the time, attending Booth Hill Elementary School as a third-grader. About halfway through the school year, after consulting numerous medical journals, reports, and studies on the positive results effected by the combination of ADHD medication with talk therapy rather than talk therapy alone on children with this diagnosis, my mother, a family physician, decided that she would go against her Ecuadorian culture upbringing (despite being a first generation American) and let me begin ADHD meds in addition to talk therapy as treatment for ADHD.

According to the DSM ADHD is present when the following criteria are met:

“People with ADHD show a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning and/or development:

• Inattention: Six or more symptoms of inattention for children up to age 16 years, or five or more for adolescents age 17 years and older and adults; symptoms of inattention have been present for at least 6 months, and they are inappropriate for developmental level:
  • Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or with other activities.
  • Often has trouble holding attention on tasks or play activities.
  • Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
  • Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., loses focus, side-tracked).
  • Often has trouble organizing tasks and activities.
  • Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to do tasks that require mental effort over a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
  • Often loses things necessary for tasks and activities (e.g. school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones).
  • Is often easily distracted
  • Is often forgetful in daily activities.

• Hyperactivity and Impulsivity: Six or more symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity for children up to age 16 years, or five or more for adolescents age 17 years and older and adults; symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have been present for at least 6 months to the extent that is disruptive and inappropriate for the person’s developmental level:

• • Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet, or squirms in seat.
  • Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected.
  • Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is not appropriate (adolescents or adults may be limited to feeling restless).
  • Often unable to play or take part in leisure activities quietly.
  • Is often “on the go” acting as if “driven by a motor”.
  • Often talks excessively.
  • Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed.
  • Often has trouble waiting their turn.
  • Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games)

In addition, the following conditions must be met:

• Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present before age 12 years.
• Several symptoms are present in two or more settings, (such as at home, school or work; with friends or relatives; in other activities).
• There is clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, school, or work functioning.
• The symptoms are not better explained by another mental disorder (such as a mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, or personality disorder). The symptoms do not happen only during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder.

Based on the types of symptoms, three kinds (presentations) of ADHD can occur:

• Combined Presentation: if enough symptoms of both criteria inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity were present for the past 6 months
• Predominantly Inattentive Presentation: if enough symptoms of inattention, but not hyperactivity-impulsivity, were present for the past six months
• Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation: if enough symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity, but not inattention, were present for the past six months.

Because symptoms can change over time, the presentation may change over time as well.” (1)(3)

Let me describe what schoolwork was like before beginning medications and still is once my meds wear off: absolute torture! I’ve heard ADHD described as running a marathon with boulders in your pockets. Of course you can still manage to pull off completion of the task but every step is so much harder than it has to be. For example, I remember so many nights where my Mom would lovingly sit next to me trying to keep me focused on the task at hand since she realized the moment she left I would begin to go down the rabbit hole of learning interesting science facts on the internet with no end in sight until her return. Those assignments seemed to not get completed until right before midnight. Many times, despite the imminent due date, such as the next day, even after all the work and extra time put in and sleep lost by both of us; I would invariably seem to purposely sabotage myself and forget to turn in the assignment costing me precious points, resulting in a lower grade. She always emphasized that she was certain I was a great writer; it’s just that it always took hours to collect my thoughts enough to get me to even start writing. Once I began, it would take some time to get me to stop. I would almost always completely forget to bring home assignments and when I did complete them, I would often forget to turn them in.. Everything took hours for me, all the activities of daily living such as bathing, dressing and even eating. One slice of pizza would take hours to eat and I love pizza! But I would get so distracted that I would have to heat it up in the microwave at least 2-3 times and so by the time I got around to earning it it would taste like cardboard.

Test-taking was the worst! It would take me a good 25-30 min just to settle in to start my test either because of anxiety or distractions from the nervous jitter of the other children or from the repetitive tapping of my own foot on the floor. By the time I could finally concentrate on what the first question was asking me, over half the testing time had gone by. Invariably, most of the questions were left unanswered. In the rare instance, I would finish a test in time, I would find out much too late (when the teacher returned my test with not an A) that there was a whole back of the test page I failed to answer because I never looked!

Once I began ADHD medication, it took a while to figure out which one would work for me. My fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Devine noticed something was different right away saying “Michael has always been very polite and extremely intelligent but now it seems someone has taken his cover off and he shines more brightly.” Once accommodations began, my family still had to deal with more than one teacher who felt as if  I’d been given an unfair advantage. They did not realize that what these accommodations were doing was leveling the playing field. I’ve heard ADHD described as running a marathon with boulders in your pockets. I completely agree.

The Americans with Disability Act was passed in 1990 and is a Civil Rights Law that prohibits discrimination based on disability. (2)  Thanks to this law, there are accommodations offered to children with  neurodiversity from elementary to high school and even college years.  I have been very impressed with the University of Connecticut’s Center for Students with Disabilities and the provision of continuing educational accommodations from secondary school to college. This provision is invaluable to me as a neurodiverse student since it continues to help me learn how to work well and even succeed with my diagnosis.  Hope this gives you a little better understanding of your neurodiverse peer.

Citations:

1. CDC. (2018). Symptoms and diagnosis of ADHD. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html
2. ‌2010 ADA regulations. (2010). Ada.gov. https://www.ada.gov/2010_regs.html
3. CDC. (2021, September 23). What Is ADHD? Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/facts.html

By Robert

My first thought writing a post for this blog was, “why in the world would I do what I am worst at?” All my teachers in high school knew how awful I was at writing personal narratives. I could write a ten-page research paper on the fall of Rome or some random geopolitical conflict, but God forbid writing anything about myself. The minute I see instructions for a paper containing the words ‘Personal Narrative’, my internal reaction is to hold back the screams I wish to immediately hurl at the professor that assigned me such work.

What I didn’t realize at the time I was banging my head against the wall trying to complete such assignments back in high school, was how many of my neurodivergent peers had feelings like mine. We could debate for hours the semantics of a computer programming language or the political intentions of Putin for invading Ukraine, but the minute the subject
turns personal experiences our minds go blank. Trying to explain ourselves is an exercise in
futility, mostly accomplished in-person by blank stares and in-writing by looking at a blank
Word document for hours thinking of a single thing to write. It is ironic we cannot articulate our feelings considering how unique most of our stories in life are. Although many of us had non-traditional lives and educational experiences, explaining those things to others is as difficult as climbing Mount Everest. So, if you ever have the opportunity to talk to, or end up on a first date with one of us, don’t feel too bad if you get no response when you ask the question: “What about you?” Push hard for answers, it’s just who we are.

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By A.R.

An integral part of the human experience is having interests – I doubt anybody can dispute that. We develop interests and fixations almost as soon as we’re born and they develop as we grow. However, just like plenty of other things internally and externally, interests and hobbies can come on a lot stronger for those who are neurodivergent.

What is a Hyperfixation?

Hyperfixations are interests that are usually short-term and highly intense. These are commonly associated with ADHD, but anyone can experience hyperfixations. While they can bring a person a lot of joy, they have the potential to overpower basic needs if they get too intense. There are times when people who are hyperfixating can simply forget to eat, use the restroom, sleep, or otherwise take care of themselves. Typically, these interests appear just one at a time as there’s simply not room for more than one. Hyperfixations can come and go and some have even said that their interests have returned to them years after they initially fixated on them.

What is a Special Interest?

Special interests are quite similar to hyperfixations but are considered much more long-term. The intensity of special interests as well as the number varies depending on the person. According to a study done via an online forum for autistic adults, the average amount of special interests that each person reported having was eight (Grove, et al.) Special interests are commonly associated with autism, but again are not necessarily exclusive. These interests can be a subject, an activity, a certain object, a certain food, et cetera. Special interests are not the same as an obsession in OCD where the person feels anxious if they don’t participate in whatever activity they are fixated on.

What Effects Can They Have?

The positive or negative effects of special interests and hyperfixations have been debated for a long time. Some studies say that they impair functioning and communication, while others say they encourage communication and boost confidence. This is really down to personal belief and situation – for myself, I believe it only impairs communication if others refuse to adapt to alternative forms or topics of communication. According to others and in my own experience, special interests and hyperfixations have the potential to provide comfort for those who experience them. They can also encourage social interaction, enthusiasm, and motivation. Interests tend to reflect cognitive strengths – therefore, focusing on these strengths provides an excellent opportunity to boost confidence.

Importance in Engineering and Technology

Neurodivergent people have a great amount of skills to offer the field of science and technology. For example, people with autism often have a higher interest in “systemizable” domains – things like political systems, languages, belief systems, technology, computers, and tons of other areas. This offers a great opportunity for people with these passions to pursue these interests through innovation in STEM. Autistic people also tend to have more specific interests than neurotypical people. This creates an opportunity to develop a high amount of expertise in a specialized area, paving the way for highly skilled engineers, researchers, and more.

References:

Jordan, Chloe Jennifer, and Catherine L Caldwell-Harris. “Understanding differences in
neurotypical and autism spectrum special interests through Internet forums.” Intellectual and
developmental disabilities vol. 50,5 (2012): 391-402. doi:10.1352/1934-9556-50.5.391

Grove, R., Hoekstra, R.A., Wierda, M. and Begeer, S. (2018), Special interests and
subjective wellbeing in autistic adults. Autism Research, 11: 766-775.
https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.1931

“Finding Strength in Special Interests: A New Way to Frame Autism.” NYU Steinhardt,
New York University, 4 Dec. 2020,
https://speech.steinhardt.nyu.edu/blog/special-interests-strength-based-approach/.

Simons, Annaliese. “The Neurotypical’s Guide to Being Neurodivergent.” EBHS Bear
Hub, 28 May 2021,
https://ebhsbearhub.org/4400/showcase/the-neurotypicals-guide-to-being-neurodivergent/.

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