By Yamila García

I have no memory of ever arriving in enough time for a homework due date. There are several reasons for this to happen, but I think the main one is my difficulty in working on several projects simultaneously. Until I finish one, it is very difficult for me to start another. The homework or the work I am doing completely absorbs me and every time I take focus away from it, I feel like I have to start from scratch. It’s as if there is a fear of forgetting everything I’ve done so far and losing progress… Almost as if the computer has no memory and doesn’t save what I’ve done. But yes, both the computer and I remember. So I don’t understand it, I don’t know why that happens like that. But it makes me angry, overwhelmed and frustrated that I can’t work little by little on several simultaneous projects.

I do my work, I do deliver it on time, although with the minimum amount of time before the due date. However, I know I could do much better. I know that by starting early and not just working on a single task until exhaustion, I could use my time more effectively and get better results. Many times I know the most efficient way to do something, I know how to do a better job but my brain works differently. And as much as I wish it weren’t like that in that case, that’s how I am and I can only work little by little to improve. The frustration that always comes is of no use. It also makes me wonder if this is one more of the frustrations that we neurodivergents face when inhabiting a world that was not designed for us. I’m definitely not the only one who works like this, but I know we’re not the majority either. Many of these situations make us angry with ourselves even though we know we shouldn’t. The world around us doesn’t understand us and we blame ourselves for being unable to handle it.

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