By Yamila García
I was very quiet as a child. Everyone said I was shy. I didn’t think I was, but I made peace with that because in some way it satisfied others in their need to justify why I was different. So, nothing more needed to be said: I’m shy. That’s all. And so I spent many years of my life trying to go unnoticed with that simple label. It was simple, I didn’t have to explain much, and generally, the majority respected that. And in that distance and calmness from others, which I achieved thanks to “being shy,” I could feel free and let my mind wander. I spent hours imagining things, creating scenarios in my mind where I broke down those barriers that didn’t let me do or say what I really wanted. In my mind, I could express myself how I really felt, and I could see myself being a part of so many things that I missed in real life because I was everything that the word shy hid.
Daydreaming was a refuge for me, a place to escape and paint the world I longed for. A world that allowed me to be who I was, where I didn’t have to excuse myself by saying I was shy to avoid interactions I couldn’t handle simply. For many years, my mind was the only place where I felt comfortable and free. However, while I still appreciate my imagination and its elaborate creations, it is no longer the only place that provides me comfort and security.
I found people and spaces where it wasn’t necessary to hide. I didn’t think that was possible, but contrary to what my mind likes to think, nothing is black or white. Life is full of grays, and in them, open people, different people, and spaces where “different” is received with joy and admiration. But to find them, I had to open up and accept myself first. Acceptance was a bit easier for me than openness because I always understood that my differences were a part of me, and I couldn’t always hide them, only some of them and only sometimes. On the other hand, opening up was challenging. Believing that there are accepting people when everything you have seen was the opposite requires faith and perseverance. But there is always someone, there is always something good in everything, and we are never alone.