By Yamila García
I always just need some time, whether it’s starting a new activity, a new job, or even a new semester at school. I usually call this my weighing time. During this period, I mostly observe in silence, with minimal or no interventions if possible. This time allows me to assess what I’m up against, how things naturally unfold in this new situation, and what is expected of me. It’s like watching a play and figuring out if it’s a comedy, a drama, or a monologue, and then based on what I see, I begin to build my character.
Yes, sometimes this involves masking a bit, but not necessarily. Often, it’s just about figuring out how I can fit in with my differences in this new environment. It’s like evaluating whether it’s a safe place or not, in terms of how much I need to adjust to avoid being judged. When I realize I need to mask more, I tend to lean into my “shy person” character. That way, I don’t have to pretend to be someone else, but my lack of interaction and any behavior that might seem unusual to others can easily be justified with, “she’s just shy.”
On the other hand, if during this time I observe that the environment is fairly safe and I can be myself, then little by little, I start to show my true self. It’s not something I measure or do consciously; it’s as if my personality naturally finds small gaps through which to emerge in this new space. My observation phase helps me understand how to navigate the environment, what roles each person plays, and with whom I can feel safer or more at ease. It acts as a guide, a way to scan everything and stop perceiving the environment as unfamiliar.
That’s why I always need some time, a period of observation and adaptation, to understand how the new space works and determine how I can participate in it. I know it may seem like a delay, but once I’m on board, I usually catch up pretty quickly.