By Yamila García
Advocating for accommodations has made me feel very alone. The process often feels like a conversation between me (someone who is very clear about who I am and what I need) and a professor who is generally unaware of what it’s like to be neurodivergent. I can’t help but feel that something is missing in this process. Someone who understands both perspectives, perhaps? Yes, I know I have an advisor at CSD, but I also know it’s not common for them to intervene directly in accommodation requests. It almost feels like if I copy my CSD advisor on emails, it would come across as pressuring the professor to give me accommodations, and that’s not the type of relationship I want to have with my professor throughout the semester.
It’s incredibly stressful at the beginning of each semester (or even when considering registering for a certain class) to contact professors to see what accommodations they would be willing to offer. In several cases, I ended up not taking certain classes because I knew the accommodations wouldn’t be sufficient. Sometimes, they were worse than if I had no accommodations at all.
How do I make a professor understand that not being able to give a presentation in front of the class isn’t due to shyness, but because my heart rate exceeds 160 bpm before I even start, causing sweating, dizziness, palpitations, and even fainting? How do I explain this when they see me talking to classmates or to them without any issues? My anxiety spikes in front of a group, not when I’m talking to 2 or 3 people.
I’ve encountered many kind and understanding individuals, but others, not so much. In all cases, though, I feel like something is missing. Many professors are respectful but don’t truly grasp my reality. There’s a sense of disconnection, and I wonder if there will ever be a way to bridge that gap. It feels like an imposed inclusion, not a genuine one based on understanding our differences, as if they are respectful because they’ve been told to be, rather than because they truly understand.