By Yamila García
I am one semester away from completing my degree, and it suddenly dawned on me how I managed to survive all those semesters. I believe I was simply somewhat “unaware” of what I was doing. It may sound illogical, but there’s an explanation behind it. My idea of being present many times leads me to want to strive for 100% awareness of all the variables involved, which adds a tremendous emotional burden to my tasks, making it challenging to truly be present. Being neurodivergent, I frequently seek structure, rigidity, and meticulous planning to feel in control of situations. However, when I become a little “unconscious” and focus only on the next step, magic happens. I learned this through a long process of trial and error. On many occasions, my attempts to plan and consider every aspect resulted in accomplishing very little. On the other hand, by surrendering to the moment, I achieved much more. Today, it seems I have finally learned my lesson. In fact, I can’t recall ever thinking about completing my degree. Throughout this journey, the furthest I have thought about is the end of the current semester.
I haven’t completely eliminated anxiety from my thoughts, but by setting shorter-term goals, fears, and doubts have become more manageable. When faced with any challenge necessary to achieve my immediate objectives, I can simply concentrate on that specific task and do what is necessary to overcome it. Often, we burden our minds with concerns about things that are entirely uncertain, things that are far off in the future, or even questionable, whether they will occur at all! However, all we need to do is learn to break down our ultimate goal or problem into smaller, more manageable parts and focus solely on the one that is closest to us. I received this advice long ago, and I am well aware that it is not something easy to accomplish. It has taken me considerable time and numerous mistakes to reach this point. Yet, by adopting this perspective, my anxiety and need for control have become more manageable, and I have achieved more than I realized. Instead of looking at the mountaintop, I now focus on taking the next necessary step to ascend a little further.